Opinion

Men don’t cry?

There’s something called crap.

And then comes ultra crap- if that word even exists!

Widely Known Examples are Unofficially accepted Sentences like these. Men don’t cry. .

Don’t they have tear glands? Of course they do! They don’t have society’s permission I suppose.

Even today several stupid and rigid stereotypical beliefs are injected into a boy right from the day he’s born. He is subjected to a societal conditioning of how a “real boy” should act.

Boys in our society are trained to be strong and competitive, because they ultimately have to become the breadwinners. This mentality that’s strongly etched in them becomes a part of their DNA and later on, when they get a wife who wants to supports them equally, they feel insecure and humiliated. It’s like men are supposed to be breadwinners and women break-bakers. With the advent of modern times, where we see Movies like Ki and Ka, there’s a role reversal seen in the society which is seen as a taboo, and often discussed in hushed tones.

Coming back to the conventional form of upbringing in our society, another notable drawback is that while growing up, a boy’s various shenanigans are neglected too, because there’s a stale excuse used since the 1700’s, “Boys will be boys!”

Arrogance, aggressiveness, violence and ill temperament are overlooked as an “usual boyish” behaviour. This usual boyish behaviour takes up a really bad form as the boy grows up. No amount of threatening can re-mould an already done and dusted with personality.

The above was just a small issue.

The most troublesome aspect of this kind of societal conditioning is that boys and men are afraid of crying, sharing their emotions or showing their true feelings. They are compelled to be “the strong one” externally, and sometimes this leads to their unacceptance of rejection, despair and failure, which breaks them internally.

Why is it preached that boys who wear pink aren’t “manly” enough? Guys who play with dolls are “girlish”! Guys who help in the kitchen are losers. Guys who dance are spineless, and guys who make a video on Musicaly app are actually girls in a Boy’s attire! Why are tough, naughty, mischievous guys acceptable and soft hearted, emotional, sentimental men a disdain?

Who made these rules? And when? And why?

Why do we have such rigid gender stereotypes, when we ourselves are flag bearers of equality? Why can’t a boy cry?

He can. He should. There’s nothing to be ashamed of releasing the emotional frustration building up in the minds.

My younger sibling is still in junior high. She often talks about a guy in her class with cringed nose.

He hates girls, didi!” She would often complain. “He is the kind of guy who thinks it’s against his pride to talk to girls. He rebukes girls in our class all the time. Making fun of their physique, colour, style of walking, and the way they laugh”

Where does this hatred come from, in a fourteen year old boy?

We use catchphrases like “Men will be men“, “a man without a stubble isn’t man enough“, “a man with spectacles is a nerd“, because we preach this belief. There are a lot of flag bearers, for the liberation of women.

It’s time we need few leaders for boys too, for setting them free from such stereotypes that binds them in shackles of the society.

Boys can cry.

One Indian Girl

20 thoughts on “Men don’t cry?”

  1. Yes, we do cry. And should not be told otherwise. Not allowing men or women, boys or girls to share their hurts…their emotions leads to self medicating themselves with bad stuff. Change does not to take place!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really loved reading your blog. I also found your posts very interesting. In fact after reading, I had to go show it to my friend and he ejoyed it as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The hatred against girls, like you mentioned in a 14 years old, is weakness to accept the equally important part of the population. That’s a problem. It has to be eliminated. A good post. In fact a brilliant one. 👏

    Like

  4. As a man, I was taught those stringent (and wrong) rules. I admit that I adhered to those archaic thoughts until I was in my 20s and learned that it’s okay to be strong enough to let the tears flow. It was a relief to FINALLY understand that I can be male AND an actual human being.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. it’s just mind set of people .. society does not accept reversal of roles .. people are lucky who could .. society need men only who are brave ,responsible,strong or jokey… even ur friends would not accept you if u r not …m not

    Like

  6. Preach, sis. 👏 I will say that feminism is for men too so it’s not just a flag-bearer for the liberation of women but to also bring equality to both sexes including campaigning against derogatory phrases like “man up” and “men don’t cry.”

    Like

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