Opinion

Groom shopping, anyone?

Ever been lucky enough to see a family “groom shopping” for their girl?

No.

Let me introduce you to the Indian marriage market.

Though the “marriage market” in India is a seller market, but the product sold doesn’t go to the buyer. The groom is the product in this market.

The price of the product is fixed on the basis of the following factors-

  1. Social status
  2. Educational qualification
  3. Appearance

The price is generally paid in the form of cash, jewellery, household appliances, furniture, or vehicles. The buyer or her family’s qualification doesn’t matter here. The buyer’s family leaves no stone unturned to arrange the requires funds to buy the “product.” If they can’t arrange, no product will accept their girl.

Oh my god. Such a confusing purchase.

The buyer’s is deep neck in loss.

Because of the higher market price of products, and everyone wanting the best for their girl, several families starts arranging funds right from the day a girl is born.

Rates for different product varies. You may have to pay lakhs and lakhs for a doctor, upto 50lakhs for an engineer, and if you can’t afford them, you can go for simple “government jobs” product whose price varies from 15-25lakhs.

You get various options to chose from. Today with the advent of internet, matrimonial sites have made it easier to search for relationship. But even they aren’t saved from paying this market price. The “gift” question still persists.

Inspite of paying a hefty price, the bride’s family has several “buyer’s condition” to fulfill. This includes, “the girl should be fair fair and lovely!”, “She should know household work.”

Infact the initial screen process for a bride by the product starts with the physical screening. Sometimes the screening is skipped if the girl’s beauty is appreciated in family functions. In that case, an unofficial version of screening takes place.

You just need to send a CV. The HR department of the groom’s family shortlists the CV before the deal is finalised.

The CV is finalised depending upon various conditions –

  • Whether the girl was involved with someone ever. (The young members of the HR department Stalk her Facebook/ Instagram/Twitter posts, photos and comments for the heart reacts!)
  • Whether the girl’s family was ever involved with a man/woman who disdained the family’s name. Examples include marrying outside one’s caste/religion, or eloping, or worse stays away from home.
  • Whether the girl is pure. Some products are shameless enough to ask this from the girl himself. It doesn’t matter if he’s himself involved in several hundred flings. What are you searching for? Desi Ghee?

Who said education would empower women? In India, job became an additional qualification for a girl to get married. The list of these qualifications is just increasing day by day.

I’m not surprised by the news of female infanticide in many parts of India. Parents who know they won’t be able to afford such a hefty price cry at the birth of a girl.

And you know what, my blood boils when I see even in a love marriage, the bride’s family pays this market price, and the groom makes an excuse of being unaware. Wasn’t love enough?

One can’t expect anything from a stranger. But one can expect things from someone who knows them, claims to love them.

When will this change?

How will it change if men don’t speak for the women who’s going to spend her entire life with him? How will it change if a girl’s family is still the inferior one? How will it change till a girl has the power to “reject” the guy?

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12 thoughts on “Groom shopping, anyone?”

  1. It’s really a big issue here. Even where I live a new trend is in action. For example, If a girl scores 6.5 or 7.0 in an exam called Ielts, she will get a handsome rich husband *voot voot*. Plus, the girl’s parents do not need to give anything in return to the other party. The boy band will do all the expenses on the marriage and to go abroad too. Yes, they don’t wanna settle here. It’s a deal. The girl will study there and the boy will work and they’ll apply for a spouse visa of Canada or Australia if possible. And if not, alone girl will go first on the study visa, then she’ll sponser her husband and then *yup* they can spend time together.πŸ˜€πŸ˜€.
    This is the story of every home in my state.
    You can imagine….
    No you can’t imagine…..
    There’s nothing….
    Marriage is a deal. That’s it.
    Get marks and Go abroad with the money of boy band. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜€

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It is so intriguing to read about marriage in other countries. Based off what I’ve read I would never be married because my family would never be able to afford a rich husband… πŸ™„πŸ’β€β™€οΈ however I am fairly certain my mother would sell everything for my sister to be able to marry…

    So my understanding is that women & their families don’t have much say in marriage. And you might have mentioned it before but I forget– is the man able to pick his spouse on his own or is it all arranged by families? Like if instead of a large dowry he wanted to marry the poor girl would they allow it?

    Are all Indian families like this or only some? Do you see any change coming to this sort of thing or does that break tradition?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Some are like this. Actually major portion are like this.
      But a huge change is coming over I would say .
      It’s all a guy’s say in the end.
      A friend of mine got marriage to a really nice guy without a single penny. Because he and his family had made it clear that he likes her on her merit (she sings).
      And yes a guy is able to pick his own spouse if he wishes to. Rich guy poor girl is a rich concept shown in our movies often.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Namaste!
    The pun and sarcasm you write with is commendable!!!!!
    This too shall change- like the weather conditions in india.
    Thankyou for visiting my blog and appreciating my work. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Very well written :)) Now, since I’m out in the market, I have noticed another truth of the society. Our highly educated society judge us based on our profession as well..If the long list of relation,community, caste, beauty, family background wasn’t enough..there’s a new addition to the list! It hardly matters what kind of a person you actually are. Nobody seems to care about it. I’m a doctor by profession and I feel like I’m being sold our wise bargained based on my degree. Like, I have a selling price in the market. How can a profession define a person? It might have have a supporting rule to play but not the role of the protagonist. It’s humiliating to the core.

    Liked by 2 people

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